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KEEPIN' IT REAL BLOG



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Marriage and Family: Keepin’ Things Real: 7 Secrets to a thriving marriage (Part 5)

June 01, 2011

WOW, sorry for the delay in our blogging.  We have been on the road leading our Let's Get Real Conference this past spring and time has literally flown bye.  Good NEWS, we haven't forgotten you and cannot wait to share the 5th secret to a thriving marriage.  As you know, these are from our DVD Bible Study so why not dig deeper and work on your relationship with Christ and others by getting your study today. Now for secret number 5 - and its all about conflict, fun stuff..here we go

To set the stage, let's start with a story.  I (Dale) was counseling a man several years ago.  Let's call him Bill (not his real name).  Bill was a Christian, husband, father and had been a missionary over-sees.  He had been trained in Biblical studies and served in various capacities of ministry.  In all of this, however, Bill was really struggling.  His marriage was less than fulfilling, his personal life was being bombarded with temptation and stress.  HIs walk with Christ was empty and routine at best.  After all, none of us are exempt from the temptations of this world, the stress of life, the attacks of the enemy.  That's not the point here.  The point is, as we talked and as I asked Bill a series of questions, he had all of the right answers.  The more we talked, the more I was convinced of what Bill's problem was and was not...and then a quote came out of my mouth that has become a cornerstone for me.  I have been saying it at our conferences, in mentoring and counseling sessions, to friends and to my own life...here it is "our problem isn't that we don't know what to do, but our unwillingness to do it!"

Let that sink in for a second.  How true it is.  And boy does this show up in conflict.  We can't tell you the number of times we have been in a disagrement and instead of doing the right thing (that we know we should do), we are simply unwilling to do it. 

What word would you describe as the source of why people don't do the right thing? Perhaps PRIDE, SELFISHNESS, EGO, SIN...ding, ding, ding, ALL OF THE ABOVE.  So much of our struggles in life really can be tracked back to our unwillingness to do the right thing. That's why we have found a secret for an authentic and whole marriage is in "owning your stuff!" and simply do the right thing, even if it turns out wrong. 

Jesus spoke about doing the right thing in conflict when he talked about judging and condeming others.  He said to stop looking at the speck in your brother's eye while you have a honkin beam in your own.  He said the measure you use to judge others will be the same measure that is used against you. And perhaps one of the most profund relational principles ever taught by Christ and other's throughout the ages is found in Matt. 7:12 (look it up).  All of this is why secret number 5 for your relationships, frienships, parenting and marriage will be found in "owning your stuff!" 

In our DVD series we go much deeper into how to resolve conflict, how to own your stuff, the three choices in the midst of conflict and much more, so if you are interested in growing your marriage (and other relationships) based on the Word of God, then CLICK HERE to visit our store, purchase the DVD and workbook and go on the journey toward authenticity and wholeness.

As we close this blog, we have no idea the conflicts currently facing you and your life.  We do know that Christ wants to do something in your life through them.  So try and see them from HIS vantage point and let HIM grow you into HIS image in the midst of them.  We know ultimately this is HIS plan for all of us..to be transformed into HIS image as we walk with HIM through life. Until next time!

fully surrendered,

Dale and Jena




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