Marriage and Family: Parenting - 7 ways to lead your family (Part 4)November 17, 2010
"Discipline your children, for in that there is hope"
"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it"
There are all kinds of viewpoints and opinions on disciplining children. Do you spank, count, put them in "time-out", ground them. Is it based on age, the circumstance or situation, the history of repeated disobedience, etc. After all, we've all heard the punishment needs to fit the crime. But remember, parents are not after punishment, we are after discipline. Discipline that trains and forms a disciplined child.
For sure, this is not EASY and there is no way we would ever be able to cover all the different avenues of discipline in this blog. What we want to tell you however is what you are after....you are after training and raising Christ centered, Biblically based, parent honoring children We heard Voddie Baucham say one time ... How do you know if you have a spirit led child? His answer: When the child does what they are told, when they are told, with the right kind of heart. In other words, when you ask your children to clean their room, you want them to do it when you ask them with the right spirit within them. Kids can go through the act of obedience but have hearts far from submission...in other words...they are standing up on the inside!
What we are after as Parent Disciplinarians is "first time obedience" and a child with a "moral compass" that leads them to immediate obedience with Godly values. We want to raise and discipline a child that progressively grows into the person Christ wants them to be. In other words, we want what Hebrews 12:11 says...disciplined children that produce harvest of righteousness. We define righteousness as a person whose thinking, feeling and acting is aligning itself with the will and word of God!
So as you discipline your kids, we wanted to give you some "Nevers of Discipline" that someone shared with us:
1. Never argue
2. Never criticize
3. Never bribe
4. Never discipline in anger
5. Never discipline for the moment but for the future
6. Never let the child divide the parents
If we are honest, we have struggled with all of these...doing them well sometimes and sometimes not so much. That's why our first blog in this parenting series reminded us about how hard parenting really is...perhaps you are like us and thankful for the grace of God that fills in the gaps. So, do your best, allow Christ to lead you, always give your children the reasons why they are being disciplined, go after the roof of the issue, dig for what is in their heart behind the behavior, stay consistent, help them walk in truth by giving them a Biblical basis for why they should not have done what they did, hold a high standard for morality, integrity and holiness and help them begin to think, feel, and act in alignment with God's Word and will for their life....and then pray, trust God and believe in his promise that when they are old they will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6).
Dale and Jena
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