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Marriage and Family: 3 TRUTHS your marriage MUST have!

November 12, 2015

Here's an obvious statement to everyone who is married - "marriage is hard" but have you ever thought about "why?"  Most married people think it's because of who they married...but what if there is much more going on than meets the eye?  What if you figured out how to walk thru, work thru, and fight thru the hard parts of marriage - would you want to do that?  Here are 3 TRUTHS your marriage MUST have that will help.

TRUTH #1 - marriage is going to require you to work harder than you thought you would! Yep, if your marriage is going to make it for the long haul, it is going to reguire some hard work.  But isn't it true that anything worth having is worth working for?  When you walked down the aisle to get married, that was not the end, it was just the beginning.  It's like when you asked Christ in your life, that wasn't the end, that was the beginning and from that moment of you being "wed to him" you started the journey of growing into his character, allowing him to change you, to grow you into a mature follower of Christ and for this to happen it's gonna take some hard work.  Same with your marriage.  Marriage will grow you and cause you to change in some areas.  That's why saying "I do" on your wedding day was the easy part, the hard part of marriage is saying "I STILL DO" and it is in the "still doing" where the hard work happens.  

TRUTH #2 - you can't alway be right and be in a right relationship! In other words, marriage is going to require you to do some things that go directly against your selfish desires.  Selfish desires to be right, to win, to be heard, to be vindicated, to be in charge, to hold onto the past, to be unforgiving, to be ... you fill in the blank for your life!  But a marriage must is that sometimes you can't be right and be in a right relationship.  You must forgive.  There are no thriving marriages without two forgivers.  There are no thriving marriages where the couples have to be right!  There are no thriving marriages when you let your pride, your ego, and your selfishness drive the marriage!  You can choose a better way.  You can choose the path of forgiveness, humility, meekness, servanthood and sacrifice.  In fact, when both a husband and a wife choose these paths...God will get right in the middle of this marriage and do some amazing things!

TRUTH # 3 - marriage will expose you! As long as we've been married, we know this one to be true for sure.  You simply can't hide in your marriage, not really, not forever, because sooner or later, your marriage will expose you, the real you, that part of you that is hidden down deep inside, with all those insecurities, fears, wounds, past hurts.  The stuff that comes bubling up from the past that now shows up in the present day reality of your marriage.  And because of this,  thriving marriages see this as an amazing opportunity for them and their spouse to find their way through all of this together. 

Friends, this blog started with the question:  "have you ever thought about why marriage is hard?"  The answer is because God is after something in YOU.  He is after changing you and he will use your marriage to do it!  It's why hard work, being in a right relationship and not always being right and exposure will happen.  It's what makes marriage between you and your husband or wife an absolutely beautiful thing.  Because It is the beautiful journey of your becoming.  So what if you saw your marriage today as the arena where God does some deep work of change?  What if your marriage became dependent upon God's grace and the working of his HOLY SPIRIT to help you make it?  What if your marriage was made up of a husband and wife, committed to hard work as they look at themselves first, face the real person they are in the marriage and then allowed Christ to enter in and grow them, heal them, change them?  What if they knew their spouse was their ally and not their enemy and so they fought together for their marriage?  Don't you think this kind of marriage would be awesome?  We do!  So work hard for your marriage, work hard to be in a right relationship and not just right!  And when the exposure of your souls happen, let God do his work and be a spouse who comes along side with grace and mercy as you both grow your life and marriage into a display of God's splendor. 

If you'd like help growing your marriage, click here to get our Let's Get Real™ Couple kit, in it we give you real truth and real tools for your marriage. 

Questions for you to consider and leave us your comments: 

What is one characteristic of Christ that has been developed in you because of your marriage? 

What Christlike characteristic do you think is needed in a spouse to help healing occur in a marriage? 

Stay the course, fight the good fight of faith, don't loose heart!  As hard and scary as it may be, the journey is so woth it!

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If you'd like to book Dale and Jena for a conference please visit the contact page at www.daleandjena.com. Also, don't forget to check out the great resources on our on-line store.

For more information on Jena's ministry to women, visit:  www.livingdeeperministries.com


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