Marriage and Family: Two Presents every woman would want for Christmas (and men, it won't cost you a dime!)December 24, 2013
Well, with Christmas Eve right upon us and the shopping hopefully done, I thought I would give some last minute advice to the men (and anyone for that matter) out there hoping to make this Christmas one of the very best for the woman in their life. In fact, this advice is not just good for Christmas, it is good year-round. But since it is Christmas and since Christmas can be very hectic, here are two sure fire presents every woman would want for Christmas...and the good news men, they won't cost you a dime!
Let me set the table first on how I came to discover these two gifts. I started thinking one day about all that Jena does around the Christmas season. First, Jena does ALL of the Christmas shopping. She is a "giver" at heart and so this is really in her wheel house. Oh, I'll throw in some thoughts here and there and she always ask me what I think, but the truth of the matter is, she handles it all. All the shopping and all the wrapping. She is more than happy to handle both because as I said, she loves to buy for others and well, she's seen how I wrap presents. It's not a pretty sight. She also decorates like crazy! Table decorations, mantle decorations, tree decorations, you name it! My job is the boxes out of the attic and the lights outside. UGGGH...the lights outside - that's enough to make a man lose his mind sometimes! Then as Christmas approaches it's preparation for parties, family, friends...the point is Christmas can be very hectic. The more I thought about it...the more I discovered these two gifts that my wife and I'm willing to bet, most women would love to get for Christmas...especially on Christmas day and the week(s) that follows.
The first gift is "help without being asked to help!" This can be a challenge for us men. I'm the first one to slide to the couch once my belly is full or check out after a long day. In the early days of our marriage, this would leave Jena in a quandry...she would think...if I have to ask him to help me...then he's doing it because he has to...not because he wants too...OR....if she asked for help....is she being selfish and needy....this is why a great gift to give your woman is to keep your ears open and your eyes peeled for ways to help your woman without being asked...if you don't know what to do, then ask her how you can help before she asks you! Believe me, she'll love it and you when you do this.
The second gift is "equal me-time". I know a lot of marriages and a lot of men that take the Christmas season to unwind and do some of the fun stuff they love to do...there is nothing wrong with this...I'm sure they work hard and deserve some time to relax and have some fun...but so does the woman in your life...they work hard and deserve some time to relax and have some fun as well. This is why "equal me-time" is a great gift to give them. When a man recognizes the needs of his woman to have some down time, away from the kids, away from the laundry, away from the kitchen and her endless "to do" list and then gives her this time...she will love it and him for giving it to her. Men, you have no idea how refreshing it is for a woman to be cared for simply by giving them a cup of coffee and 30 minutes to an hour of uninterupted solitude. You have no idea what it does to a woman's soul for you to take the lead, get the baby-sitter and take her out on the town. You don't have to spend a lot of money, or create the greatest date night ever...just give her some equal "me-time"
The point is all great relationships have the intangible value of give and take, of serve and be served, of sacrifice and self-lessness. Give these gifts to your relationships and I believe you will have a great Christmas...and....by the way, make sure you do so in 2014...after all, great marriages, families, friendships and relationships need these kinds of gifts all year long!
I'd love for you to join the conversation - here's a couple of questions I'd love to hear your thoughts on....
1. what is the best relational present anyone could give you that doesn't cost a dime?
2. How would these two gifts: "help without being asked to help" and "equal me-time" strengthen your marriage, your family, your friendships? (has anyone ever given you these presents...if so, how did it make you feel?)
If this blog has positively impacted you today, please leave us your comments and share it with others by using the share buttons across the top.
We've got some great new resources at our websites, so please check them out. If you would like to read Jena’s Blogs on Living Deeper with Christ and helping others do the same, don't forget to visit her website: www.livingdeeperministries.com . Lastly, don't forget to follow us on Facebook and Twitter@daleForehand and @jenaforehand
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Crystal Fornwalt On Friday, December 12 at 12:19 PM
I am so blessed to have a husband that does these two things and more! I am going to share this on facebook because women rarely ask for these things, but it is so needed! If I mention to my husband, John, that I have committed to make something for work, or for a dinner, he automatically jumps in and wants to know how he can help. He stayed in the kitchen with me after dinner until things were back in order. We both work, we both rest. I couldn't ask for more....
Dale and Jena On Friday, December 12 at 12:22 PM
Crystal…thanks for your comments and recognizing this in your husband…this is one of the greatest gifts we can give our spouses..the recognition and appreciation for what they do…when both do this…the marriage thrives dale